Jokes For Runners

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Posted on 05 Nov, 2018

If you consider pasta and Gatorade a food group, this collection of jokes will likely appeal to you. Smiles are contagious. If you find something here that you like, we hope you will infect as many as you can.

#1 I still can't believe our husbands think it takes two hours to run seven miles!

#2 Raise your hand if you tripped on a tree stump on a trail run this morning but the first thing you thought of as you felt sheer pain in your knees was, Stop The Garmin!

#3 But then Cinderella said, "Keep the slipper, I obviously can't run in it anyway.

#4 That moment in the race when you hear sirens and wonder if you passed out and you're just dreaming of finishing.

#5 A family who runs together, stays together.

#6 It's not bragging when I tell you how many miles I ran today. It's so you don't judge when I devour the whole bag of chips.

#7 Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

#8 Kid, if your mom seems stressed out, just give her a hug and say, "Mama, you just need to go for a run!"

#9 I'd like that pizza delivered to the finish line of the race I just rocked. I'll be here waiting for my husband to finish.

#10 Singing Another One Bites The Dust when I pass other runners on the road or in a race.

#11 The truth is you can always run faster, but sometimes the truth hurts.

#12 Why can't people just plan their parties around my race schedule.

#13 If you see a porta potty with no line, use it. Even if you don't need to.

#14 I always run negative splits when I train. I go out too fast and feel real negative on the last split.

#15 The awkward moment when you are running and your breasts are bouncing, and you're a guy.

#16 My therapist told me I have to quit running and drinking, I laughed and told her, "Maybe you're the crazy one."

#17

#18 Great idea, bonding while forming healthy habits. Until about 10 minutes into the run and one of them has to go to the bathroom.

#19 My warm-up includes waiting for satellites.

#20 The Tortoise and the Hare story makes sense now. One of them took time to memorize the map.